Neverland

“Wondering was she really here? Is the standing in my room? No she’s not. Cause she’s gone gone gone gone, gone.” John Mayer

How can he sleep at night? He must not know— He must think I’m doing well That it’s well with my soul. But does he know? Does he know the countless hours Of sleep I’ve been deprived of? Having to struggle under the covers, With my eyes sown shut— Just to wait for sleep to find me, Sometimes hours and hours later? All the time retracing memories and nightmares, Like a bad cd, repeating an awful clip. Does he know the meals I’ve missed? With an aching stomach, longing to be fed, But as soon as it’s in my sight, My stomach closes off and my throat shuts. Does he know the gallons of tears that have left my eyes, Within the last month and a half? Does he know how many tubs I could have filled With my anguish? How can he sleep at night, If he knows that he has ruined my life- After telling me of the respect he had for us? How can he live with himself, Knowing that because of his impulse, A “friend” who shared his stage— Has experienced the most excruciating pain E

SO DONT FALL IN LOVE THERES JUST TOO MUCH TO LOSE IF YOURE GIVEN THE CHOICES IM BEGGING YOU CHOOSE TO WALK AWAY WALK AWAY DONT LET HER GET YOU I CANT BARE TO SEE THE SAME HAPPEN TO YOU Son I’m only telling you this because life can do terrible Terrible Terrible Terrible things

You said I’m doing everything right You said I’m doing nothing wrong But I’m the one who gets to experience utter heart break? Don’t worry my hands are still shaking, You didn’t stop that When I saw you on the road I thought I’d get in a wreck I shouldn’t have read, that was a mistake But if you ever see this you’re doing the same. “Our Guatemala”?? What happened to you? While you were away I didn’t know what to do I can’t sleep any more, I deal with this alone At 3 in the morning I’m battling ghosts. I can’t look any more, around in any store When I walk into target you might be around the corner Your hand in his hand on your very first date And you’re there because nobody’s back at your place I’m glad the sky’s not a cage I’m glad you can fly now Now that you’re finally free from whatever I must have put you through You told me you would love me forever You told me you love me most infinity You said that I’m all you think about You said that you wanted to marry

I really thought there was going to be a happy ending. This book represents everything I fear in life. 0/10, wouldn’t reccomend.

“It was like falling from somewhere high up and breaking in half, and only one person having the secret to the puzzle of putting her back together.”

I pulled off my scab tonight... it hurts really bad and it’s bleeding a lot, but I think it might heal quicker. I don’t know how long it might have taken if I had left the scab. Injuries are weird like that, I guess.

I miss my best friend

‘“You love me,’ [I] said. ‘That’s enough. We love each other.’ ‘Yes. Yes, that’s true.’ He smiled. ‘We are a love story.’”

What if your blessings come through raindrops? What if your healing comes through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you’re near?