Don't read this

I can't leave

I don't have the strength

The longest I've ever been gone

It comes in a day

And you've already left

You were rushed out the door

"You can do it." Is all you said

And you walked out the door

And I turned around because I wanted to say

How much you mean to me and how I want you to stay

How without you I'm not sure that I could live a day

How hell's waiting in Houston and I can only think hate

I hate myself for not being a man and saying my mind and how I run up to my room and I immediately start crying because I hate the way that we can't have a proper goodbye because the world is staring at us waiting to ask why and meanwhile I feel her head against my shoulder and I have to push away because it's inappropriate to hold her and when we leap in the pool I can't hold her hand and when we go to our schools  we can't play in the same bands and our summers are different and I end up away while she's home or doing stuff in another state and I can't stand to live I just want one more week because I literally got home just to wash off my feet and I'm back on the road and this time for much longer when last time I left I thought I was a goner and this week will be incredibly long and then next week will start and I'll have to share phone time with my mom and right now I am sitting on the floor with my face sticky and wet  from that scene of her walking out the door and my mom stood in the door way and asked if there was anything she could do but to get my girl back was all  I wanted to but that won't happen because I can't pack my life in an hour and at 4:30 you leave and my mouth tastes sour from all the disgusting thoughts of you being away and on the car ride tomorrow I could drive over right away and I could see you once again but yet that won't happen and the same goes for college station because you'll already be half way and as you go from there to Florida I'll be sitting in rice screaming gay because I can't think but hate and I'll be hating myself for not walking to her but be sitting near someone else who is probably a school nerd who enjoys watching doctor who but I won't want to watch it, I'll just want to see you, but again you won't be there and I will just be scared that something will happen just like my nightmares and your car will fail or the bridge will break and oh my gosh my girl, my God couldn't take, but he could and he did with my friend Percy Jackson and so I'm not sure if today was the last time BUT I CANT HELP BUT THINK THAT WAY I DONT WANT YOU TO LEAVE! I CANT HELP BUT SEE YOUR FACE BLOODY AND SCREAM! So many things could happen in this very long month and when I get back you'll be here and when I get back you'll be here and when   I     Get     Back     You     Will      Be      Right      Here       Please      Don't        Leave       Me            You're too hard to come by and too easy to 

Lose