I guess I realize how much of an introvert I can be...
I never really think about it, but being around people really stresses me out.
I'm sorry if I seemed upset at you, that wasn't my intention.
I guess the mass of the people around me and the loud music was driving me insane.
It got to the point where I wanted to go inside, but I acted like I was just walking by when somebody tried to open the door for me.
Human interaction...
Thanks for being different.
You're not loud and rowdy.
You're a soft smile.
A warm voice.
You aren't the weight of the world pulling on me.
You're the strength of a hundred worlds holding me up.
---------
Music does this thing... I guess I get in a mindset where I know I understand it. I never thought it was me, but it must be, judging from the way that people respond to me when I talk about it. Like people get super defensive. I've heard the term, "Don't tell me how to play my instrument." I've heard it many times. One of the times was through words verbally.
I catch myself when I do it. So I tripped up today... Cornerstone. I don't understand. Why was I given a gift if I feel bad using it? There was no selfish intention in trying to teach him the riff. The song felt empty and it was purely for the worship. It was not to show off my skills... was it? When I played piano that one night, did people hate me for it? Did they think I was trying to show off? I wasn't I promise! It's my passion. I don't understand why that's wrong. Is it? My want to sing at Anchorage- she hates when I ask. I've heard the term, "Don't ask, because it's Harrison's job. He's a better guitarist." I've heard it many times. Never once has someone gotten the nerve to say it verbally though. Is it wrong to want to lead worship? It wasn't so I could show off my skill... was it? You were singing along. Was I? Was I? Every time I suggest something at Fuze I can feel Alex hating me for it. I'm not doing it because I think I know better than who had the original idea! I'm saying it because I think it will make worship better! Is that selfish??? These are not rhetorical questions!!! I need to know the answer because I'm confused! I don't know why people respond the way that they do! Help me please.
This is why I feel at home at Lakepointe. I learn from people over me. They are experienced. I don't know any more than anyone else at lakepointe. I am the baby. I am never judged. But I guess I need to learn to be like them before I can go back to Cornerstone.
---------
This is why I walk outside.
This is what I thought about.
I guess it's good to have it written down somewhere.
I still need the answers...
I never really think about it, but being around people really stresses me out.
I'm sorry if I seemed upset at you, that wasn't my intention.
I guess the mass of the people around me and the loud music was driving me insane.
It got to the point where I wanted to go inside, but I acted like I was just walking by when somebody tried to open the door for me.
Human interaction...
Thanks for being different.
You're not loud and rowdy.
You're a soft smile.
A warm voice.
You aren't the weight of the world pulling on me.
You're the strength of a hundred worlds holding me up.
---------
Music does this thing... I guess I get in a mindset where I know I understand it. I never thought it was me, but it must be, judging from the way that people respond to me when I talk about it. Like people get super defensive. I've heard the term, "Don't tell me how to play my instrument." I've heard it many times. One of the times was through words verbally.
I catch myself when I do it. So I tripped up today... Cornerstone. I don't understand. Why was I given a gift if I feel bad using it? There was no selfish intention in trying to teach him the riff. The song felt empty and it was purely for the worship. It was not to show off my skills... was it? When I played piano that one night, did people hate me for it? Did they think I was trying to show off? I wasn't I promise! It's my passion. I don't understand why that's wrong. Is it? My want to sing at Anchorage- she hates when I ask. I've heard the term, "Don't ask, because it's Harrison's job. He's a better guitarist." I've heard it many times. Never once has someone gotten the nerve to say it verbally though. Is it wrong to want to lead worship? It wasn't so I could show off my skill... was it? You were singing along. Was I? Was I? Every time I suggest something at Fuze I can feel Alex hating me for it. I'm not doing it because I think I know better than who had the original idea! I'm saying it because I think it will make worship better! Is that selfish??? These are not rhetorical questions!!! I need to know the answer because I'm confused! I don't know why people respond the way that they do! Help me please.
This is why I feel at home at Lakepointe. I learn from people over me. They are experienced. I don't know any more than anyone else at lakepointe. I am the baby. I am never judged. But I guess I need to learn to be like them before I can go back to Cornerstone.
---------
This is why I walk outside.
This is what I thought about.
I guess it's good to have it written down somewhere.
I still need the answers...
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