Neverland

“Wondering was she really here? Is the standing in my room? No she’s not. Cause she’s gone gone gone gone, gone.” John Mayer

How can he sleep at night? He must not know— He must think I’m doing well That it’s well with my soul. But does he know? Does he know the countless hours Of sleep I’ve been deprived of? Having to struggle under the covers, With my eyes sown shut— Just to wait for sleep to find me, Sometimes hours and hours later? All the time retracing memories and nightmares, Like a bad cd, repeating an awful clip. Does he know the meals I’ve missed? With an aching stomach, longing to be fed, But as soon as it’s in my sight, My stomach closes off and my throat shuts. Does he know the gallons of tears that have left my eyes, Within the last month and a half? Does he know how many tubs I could have filled With my anguish? How can he sleep at night, If he knows that he has ruined my life- After telling me of the respect he had for us? How can he live with himself, Knowing that because of his impulse, A “friend” who shared his stage— Has experienced the most excruciating pain E

SO DONT FALL IN LOVE THERES JUST TOO MUCH TO LOSE IF YOURE GIVEN THE CHOICES IM BEGGING YOU CHOOSE TO WALK AWAY WALK AWAY DONT LET HER GET YOU I CANT BARE TO SEE THE SAME HAPPEN TO YOU Son I’m only telling you this because life can do terrible Terrible Terrible Terrible things

You said I’m doing everything right You said I’m doing nothing wrong But I’m the one who gets to experience utter heart break? Don’t worry my hands are still shaking, You didn’t stop that When I saw you on the road I thought I’d get in a wreck I shouldn’t have read, that was a mistake But if you ever see this you’re doing the same. “Our Guatemala”?? What happened to you? While you were away I didn’t know what to do I can’t sleep any more, I deal with this alone At 3 in the morning I’m battling ghosts. I can’t look any more, around in any store When I walk into target you might be around the corner Your hand in his hand on your very first date And you’re there because nobody’s back at your place I’m glad the sky’s not a cage I’m glad you can fly now Now that you’re finally free from whatever I must have put you through You told me you would love me forever You told me you love me most infinity You said that I’m all you think about You said that you wanted to marry

I really thought there was going to be a happy ending. This book represents everything I fear in life. 0/10, wouldn’t reccomend.

“It was like falling from somewhere high up and breaking in half, and only one person having the secret to the puzzle of putting her back together.”

I pulled off my scab tonight... it hurts really bad and it’s bleeding a lot, but I think it might heal quicker. I don’t know how long it might have taken if I had left the scab. Injuries are weird like that, I guess.

I miss my best friend

‘“You love me,’ [I] said. ‘That’s enough. We love each other.’ ‘Yes. Yes, that’s true.’ He smiled. ‘We are a love story.’”

What if your blessings come through raindrops? What if your healing comes through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you’re near?

What is depression but a state of mind? An admittance that the enemy seems to have an upper hand? I am not depressed. I am thriving in the knowledge that the Lord has a plan for me. That the outcome of my life is not dependent on my emotional state, But the simple fact that God has my life in his hands. So I will keep living for Him, strong and courageous Even when things don’t seem to be going my way, They are going God’s way, because I am staying faithful I know that the Lord has the power to take this cup But even if He doesn’t, my hope is Him alone I know that the Lord has the power to take my suffering, But even if He doesn’t, my hope is Him alone I know that the Lord will bend me but not break me, But even if He does, my hope is Him alone I know that if I have nothing else, I have everything in Christ Jesus And I will cling to him until my final breath. So depression has no hold on me Fear has no hold on me Death has no hold on me Because I am strong through t

The sun is so hot. It burns my shoulders as I march like a soldier in the crowd of teenagers. It’s hotter than it should, however, because I’m wearing the only nice shirt I have. It’s a black dress shirt and it has a few holes in it. I have it rolled up to my elbows. Despite the dirt on my face, this is the nicest I have looked since my mother’s funeral. I don’t know why I am dressed up. My father persisted and it’s hard to argue against him. Apparently we have to look good just in case our life ends in front of everyone. I’m shorter than most people in this crowd, but I peek through a hole to see poor Malachi.. he’a in my grade but he’s underdeveloped. His family is even more worse off than mine so he doesn’t get fed but every once in a while. I’d call him my friend, but he never speaks... so we haven’t talked. For some reason, there is always a silent greeting between us, but I’m not positive he knows my name. As we approach the town square, the stage with its deep black stain seem

I don't want to look at anything else, I don't want to hear anything else, I don't want to think about anything else, other than my nature. I sit on my log by the stream. It's my place. On days full of stress, days of hunger, days of sickness, and especially a day like this, I come here and pretend I were just part of the nature. I don't know if I will have food to eat today, I don't know if my older brother will get chosen to die today, but if I sit here and look at the little ripples in the water when the minnows peck on the pollen that falls from the bushes, it might almost seem like I'm in another world for just a minute. The shade from the the trees moves around as the wind blows on the surface of the stream and when the leaves fall at the same time it looks like dancing people. I just wish I could be that happy. I am thirteen years old and I live in a place called Sector 12. There are only twelve sectors in all, but we happen to be the worst off. Not