Did you see Jacob's shirt?

I sit in my chair

People all around me

I feel under my fluffy hair

My fez, oh so astounding

My explosive fruits of many sorts

Are so intriguing to myself

They could help in so many sports

And to quickly clear my shelf

I see the man lying on the ground

And see that he is not

Exploded out of town

Then I'd say that I was caught

You all guessed wrong

It wasn't his little brother

Ulysses sings his song

Of guilt, taught by his mother

"It was me who did the thing you hate

I am the one to blame

I am now in a consequences state

I sit in my box of shame." 

My skill at the crossbow exceeds that of Craine

I am quite a precise shot

And you might say that I am insane

But trust me, I am not

For it was frankly just an act

To get away with the crime

I got back with all ze cash

Now I have the money to create my lime

This fruit will be the end to you all

It is my best creation yet

It's explosion radius, bigger than a mall

The time I just have to set

Just kidding

It was Jack