I guess it's been a while since I was "depressed"
And I guess that's why I'm posting on my blog...
I hate using that word, because I know there are many people out there
Who actually know real depression and have a good reason for it.
I have everything
I have the most perfect girlfriend,
my dream school right in front of me,
amazing friends,
and the most faithful God.
Izzy knows that I don't do well when I'm not around other people and I'm thinking.
Since Alex moved,
and Emily's busy,
and Nick and I don't hang out,
and Payton lives in Wylie,
and seniors are busy,
I don't have people to put myself around so that I can stop thinking.
I just need to work.
And work.
And work.
I say that I don't have as much school,
but maybe that's why I have bad grades.
But shouldn't I value my involvement in church above school?
I could be studying this weekend, but I won't
Shouldn't that be a good thing?
Not today
Not this year I guess.
Maybe that's why everything is falling apart,
So that God can give me time to focus on school without saying no to worshiping
But it kills me.
Is it a weird thing that me getting distracted and playing "In Christ Alone"
Is also me not giving my all, not being diligent, and me procrastinating...
Even if I was on my knees screaming the words with my whole heart,
I still don't feel prepared.
But that's ok. Because my hope is not found in my good grades
My hope is not found in my feeling of preparedness
My hope is not found in my comfort
My hope is found in Christ alone.
And what would it be if I got bad grades and didn't get to go to DBU?
And what would it be if my girlfriend left me?
And what would it be if my family disowned me?
Would that not be the fiercest drought and storm?
He is firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
He stills my fears.
He ceases my striving.
He is my comforter.
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.
No guilt in life, and no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
NO POWER OF HELL
NO SCHEME OF MAN
COULD EVER PLUCK ME FROM HIS HAND
TILL HE RETURNS
OR CALLS ME HOME
HERE IN THE POWER OF CHRIST I STAND
I sang these words, how can I be depressed??
JESUS COMMANDS MY DESTINY
Jesus commands my destiny
Jesus commands my destiny.
And I guess that's why I'm posting on my blog...
I hate using that word, because I know there are many people out there
Who actually know real depression and have a good reason for it.
I have everything
I have the most perfect girlfriend,
my dream school right in front of me,
amazing friends,
and the most faithful God.
Izzy knows that I don't do well when I'm not around other people and I'm thinking.
Since Alex moved,
and Emily's busy,
and Nick and I don't hang out,
and Payton lives in Wylie,
and seniors are busy,
I don't have people to put myself around so that I can stop thinking.
I just need to work.
And work.
And work.
I say that I don't have as much school,
but maybe that's why I have bad grades.
But shouldn't I value my involvement in church above school?
I could be studying this weekend, but I won't
Shouldn't that be a good thing?
Not today
Not this year I guess.
Maybe that's why everything is falling apart,
So that God can give me time to focus on school without saying no to worshiping
But it kills me.
Is it a weird thing that me getting distracted and playing "In Christ Alone"
Is also me not giving my all, not being diligent, and me procrastinating...
Even if I was on my knees screaming the words with my whole heart,
I still don't feel prepared.
But that's ok. Because my hope is not found in my good grades
My hope is not found in my feeling of preparedness
My hope is not found in my comfort
My hope is found in Christ alone.
And what would it be if I got bad grades and didn't get to go to DBU?
And what would it be if my girlfriend left me?
And what would it be if my family disowned me?
Would that not be the fiercest drought and storm?
He is firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
He stills my fears.
He ceases my striving.
He is my comforter.
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.
No guilt in life, and no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
NO POWER OF HELL
NO SCHEME OF MAN
COULD EVER PLUCK ME FROM HIS HAND
TILL HE RETURNS
OR CALLS ME HOME
HERE IN THE POWER OF CHRIST I STAND
I sang these words, how can I be depressed??
JESUS COMMANDS MY DESTINY
Jesus commands my destiny
Jesus commands my destiny.
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